Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut, Sometimes You Don't!

While there is a part of me that can certainly appreciate lowbrow humor and I get where, in theory, these “Truck Nuts” (as they are officially known) are quite hilarious, but REALLY?
I mean, after the initial laugh one might get upon seeing a set of these dangling from the back of a pick-up - my first time was in the parking lot of a Home Depot (go figure), you suddenly get the reality of the situation. Here is a man driving around with a large metal BALL SAC hanging from the back of his truck! Was the truck not amply tough looking as it was? Is he so insecure and/or unsure of his manliness that he needs to display these surrogates. Or is he simply a piece of white trash? I think we all know the answer here.

Exhibit A

Then other questions begin to come to mind. Does he drive everywhere with his “Truck Nuts” swinging? Does he drive his family to church, his kids to school? What about funeral processions? Or maybe he removes them for such occasions. Unfortunately, I think we again know the answer.

No matter what you think about “Truck Nuts”, one thing is true, someone has become VERY rich by inventing them. Which got me thinking, how I could get in on that action. Then it came to me… penis shaped exhaust pipes!!! And for the lady truckers, giant breast bumpers and vagina license plate frames!

Yippy! I’m gonna be RICH!!!

CRAGG'S REALITY (These Are So Funny!)

I can't get enough of these short films. Steven Gragg is one of the funniest guys I've ever seen. Please to enjoy!

"REALITY TV"

"COMMUNITY SERVICE"

"BLACK FRIENDS"

"BREAKFAST"

"HIDDEN CAMERA"

"FOOTBALL"

"SON'S DAY OUT"

"THE LOTTERY PRANK"

"UNCLE'S DREAM"

"I AM NOT MARK TWAIN"

Well, I Guess I'll Have To Settle For "Hairy Pooter"

Turn Around Bright Eyes, turn around. (To quote Bonnie Tylor)

The first video is such an amazingly sweet song and video... and is the front runner to be my wedding song (when and if I ever get married). The second is just a great song/video.

FIRST DAY OF MY LIFE Bright Eyes

FOUR WINDS by Bright Eyes

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The Art Of BANKSY

The Self Described “Art Terrorist”

For more BANKSY click here.

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George W. Bush Covers U2... this is pretty amazing.

Thanks again to my dear friend Britt, for bringing another great video to my attention!
I can’t imagine the time that went into putting this together… and worse, all the hours of Bush speeches this poor fool had to endure to create it.

SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY by George W. Bush
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LEVITROL... It Doesn't Cure Gay.

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OK... So I'm 5 Years Old For Finding This Funny. I Realize That.

I never said this would be a highbrow blog.

FUCK THE SHIT Sons Of Butcher
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Get Bent.

MAGIC LOVE Bent
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"KIWI!" (this is really cute... and kind of sad.)

Kiwi! By Dony Permedi

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This Song Makes Me Cry

Boy George I'L ADORE

Joan Collins Is One Hot Mess!

I came to know Badly Drawn Boy’s music quite by accident. I was strolling through the record store in a daze, trying to remember what CD I had gone there for in the first place, when I decided to take a chance and just pick one at random. I’ve been a big fan ever since (of both Badly Drawn Boy and of buying random CDs).

PISSING IN THE WIND (Although, in the video, he says “spitting in the wind”) Badly Drawn Boy

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Are You A Mind Sticker?

This is an actual TAB commercial from the 70’s, with a hilariously horrifying message!

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"Yes I Would Kill Your Kids..."

Sadly, I can see this being me in the not so distant future.

HILARIOUS!

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I'm "Fears Clean Men" and you are?

This was taken from my friend at zozofine.blogspot.com

Anagram Genius : Anagram Server

Picass-Oh Shit!

"Le Reve" (The Dream)

Las Vegas casino magnate Steve Wynn had just finalized a $139 million sale to another collector of his painting, called "Le Reve" (The Dream), when he poked a finger-sized hole in the artwork while showing it to friends at his Las Vegas office.
Director and screenwriter Nora Ephron, said Wynn had raised his hand to show the group something about Picasso's 1932 portrait of his mistress Marie-Therese Walter.
"At that moment, his elbow crashed backward right through the canvas. There was a terrible noise," Ephron said, noting that Wynn has retinitis pigmentosa, an eye disease that damages peripheral vision.
"Smack in the middle ... was a black hole the size of a silver dollar 'Oh shit,' he said. 'Look what I've done. Thank goodness it was me.'"
Wynn's office confirmed the story, an account of which also appeared in The New Yorker. Both accounts said Wynn had decided to release the buyer from the sale agreement and to repair and keep the painting himself.

I can’t even comprehend an accident like this happening to me, but more then that, I can not FATHOM Steve Wynn's reaction!!!
I imagine mine would be a little more like throwing the biggest hissy fit the world has ever seen, screaming “Oh fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck... shit fucking fuck!!! No, no, no. Oh God no!!! Mother Fuck, etc.,” then, in a complete rage breakdown, I would probable tear the painting to shreds, break the frame into pieces and collapse in tears.

Perhaps I'll stick to prints.

Dogs Are Such Ass Kissers!

"A DOG came to the rescue of a disabled woman whose CAT knocked over a candle and started a fire at her Sheboygan County home. 49-year-old Jamie Hanson was able to call 911 last night when the specially-trained DOG brought her the phone."

I'll stick with my cats... even if it does come with the risk of grim fiery death.

JUST LOOK AT MY BOYS!

Lil' Bit (in bowl) & Rollerskates

What's not to love?

Well I'm Sold.

Ok, so obviously this photo was altered, but what ASS gave the “thumbs-up” for it to go to print?!?! Who in their right mind would go on this whale watching trip?

I do enjoy pretending it’s real though, and picturing the terrified people on the boat… “Oh, God… Oh, GOD… OH, GOD!!!”

Can you imagine?

# 1 Reason I Thank God I'm Gay... Absolutely NO Risk Of Unexpected/Unplanned Pregnancy!!!

However, if I were to decide, in a momentary laps of reason, to have a child and that child EVER acted up like this… I would just start shaking my head in disgust, asking if anyone knew who this horrible child’s parents were as I walked casually... yet very quickly, out of the store to my car and simply drive away. Leaving the whole terrible scene… and the child, behind!

Done and done! Ploblem solved!

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Well If We Don't Go To Hell For This One... Then I Guess God Really Is All Forgiving!

I honestly didn't think this would make me laugh as much as it did/does!!!

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These Are PAINTINGS!

"Mid City"

"Argyle"

"Retro Car"

"Melrose"

These painting were done by an artist named Holly Williams, and I can't tell you how much I love them!!!

http://www.hollywilliams.org/

SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS

This is The Postal Service's electronica version of this great song. The group Iron and Wine (some of who's members, along with members of Death Cab For Cutie, make up The Postal Service) do a beautiful acoustic version.

SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS The Postal Service

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The One And Only CAT POWER!

THIS IS NOT THE OFFICIAL VIDEO

I’m a huge admirer of this woman. She’s a fabulous song writer with an amazing voice.

This song is a particular favorite of mine and although this isn't the official video... the person who created it did a great job of capturing the emotion of the song.

THE GREATEST Cat Power
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Trick Or Treat?

Well, well, well… here it is, October 3rd, and once again I’m in a panic for a costume. Where does the time go? Every year I tell myself I’ll start working on a costume earlier, but to no avail! What is a girl to do?!?!

I did happen upon these four gems while snooping around Google. What do you think???


#1. There's everybody's favorite Principal, Mr. Kotter!!! (Played to perfection by Mr. Dave Kaplan.)

#2. The one, the only, the infuriating… Rubik’s Cube!!!

#3. Why it’s Nipsey Russell as the Tin Man in the 70’ classic The Wiz! It’s funny I should come across this costume, because I was actually thinking about going out as the original Tin Man… but why go in silver face, when I can go in black face?!?

#4. Boo Berry. It's perfect! Not only is it holiday Appropriate, as he is a ghost, but that box will hide a world of sin!!!

Look Out MENSA... Here I Come!

http://intelligence-test.net

This site has five IQ tests. I've only completed the first one (part 1)... but I did get 20 out of 33.

Check it out and you'll see where that ranks me!!! And be sure to let me know where you rank!

My Funeral Song (Ok... maybe not)

Sweet... in a "goth" love story kind of way.

I'M STILL YOUR FAG Broken Social Scene

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Oh, Donatella... You So Crazy!

(Ok... So it's not Donatella Versace, but the resemblance is uncanny!)

I have yet to decide what I find most disturbing about this woman, her obvious SIDE SHOW nails or her gold leather pants. Or, perhaps it’s the fact that both are being worn by a woman who looks to be about 103.

Normally I would be a big fan of this particular species of “White Trash,” the kind that is so over the top and unaware, that they actually become fabulous, but can you imagine actually knowing her… being her friend? Can you picture going out for drinks with this woman? Forget about the fact that she’d be knocking shit over left and right, and the high risk of losing an eye every time she reached for her drink, or a fist full of bar snacks, but how could the conversation EVER be about anything else??? Seriously, talk about your elephants in the room. Even if you, as the person with her, could somehow get past the nails, you know nobody else in the place would. It would be a constant barrage of interruptions: “Are those real?”, “Can I touch them?” (GROSS! why would anybody want to), and the one I’m sure she hears the most (each person thinking they were the first to come up with this gem) “Will you scratch my back?”

I guess the truly disturbing thing is that this woman has devoted her life to this. Just think of all the time she has wasted literally watching her nails grow!!! And all the time she must still waste doing the most routine of things: brushing her teeth, writing a check, GOING TO THE BATHROOM, or even putting on gold leather pants. And what about all the simple pleasures she must miss out on: holding hands, running her fingers through the hair of the one she loves, tickling the belly of her grandchildren or… and I’m sorry for going here, but… even masturbating!!!

I only hope that her bizarre notoriety and false sense of accomplishment truly brings her joy, because it seems to me the sacrifices would always outweigh the rewards.

Ain't No Stopping Me Now

Well, well, well. Only nine months into 2006, and already I'm catching up to the 90's! What can I say... I'm a go getter!

So here it is, my very own Blog (or should I say blah, blah, blog.) Hopefully mine will be a fun blog to visit, but for God’s sake... keep your expectations low!

Love, love and love.

Sean.